THE ENGLISH BLUES (©Words and music by Paul F. Cowlan)

Nothing dates faster than topical references, but a dig at the Iron Lady was too good to miss. God save the Queen. Uhmm, uhmm, uhmm.

Lord God I woke up this morning,
I could not find my contact lenses.
Yes Lord, I certainly did wake up this morning,
but I could not find my contact lenses.
This is extremely irritating because I can’t see a thing when I’m not wearing them,
and I keep bumping into things and falling over.

I’m going down to the railway station to see if they are on strike again.
Yes Lord, I’m going down to the railway station to see if they are on strike again.
(For the fourth time this week I think it is.)
I would go by bus, but unfortunately the busdrivers are already on strike.

Aha, aha, aha. Mmmhm. Mmmhm. Mmmhm.
Yes, yes, yes. Lord God have mercy.
Thank you very much indeed that’s frightfully decent of you.

I’m going down to London, I’m going to feed my aunty’s cat.
(He’s a ginger cat, and his name is Tiddles.)
I’m going down to London, Lord, I’m going to feed my aunty’s cat.
(He’s rather fat, but he is very friendly.)
Because if somebody doesn’t feed him he could die,
and nobody would want that.

I’m in love with Mrs Thatcher, and I have other perversions too.
Yes, I’m in love with Mrs Thatcher,
and I have other indescribably bizarre perversions too.
For example I’m also in love with the Queen.
She’s not so pretty but she’s a lot more important,
so God save the Queen!