W.C. DISCO (©Words and Music by Paul F. Cowlan)

When overnighting in an unfamiliar house, the bathroom light switch always seems to be at its most elusive at the very moment it’s most needed. This is a fact previously unrecorded in popular song.

Well I met a little chick the other night
in Funky Town, we were doing alright.
I asked if I could take her home,
and I could not wait to get her alone.

Disco! Play it with emotion.
Disco! Play it with devotion. Yeah!

Well first we had a drink or two,
then I said to her, “Where is your loo?”
“Out in the hall you’ll find a door,
with a notice telling you what it’s for.”
Well I found that door alright,
but I could not find the light!

I ran my hand up and down the wall,
but there was no light at all.
Things were getting to a pretty bad state;
I needed to go and I could not wait.
My disco trousers were so tight.
I just had to find that light!

I pressed the first knob that I found,
and I heard a fan start turning round.
I broke a mirror and a china cup,
then her electric toothbrush started up.
I was wiping toothpaste from my hair
when she shouted, “What are you doing in there?!”

I said, “Cool it baby, it’s O.K.
I’m just trying to find my way.”
I pulled a lever on the wall
and freezing water began to fall.
I wrung my shirt out in despair.
There just had to be a light somewhere!

As I was pulling my trousers down
I raised my hand and felt around;
but I wished I’d kept it to myself
when a flowerpot fell off the shelf.
I hardly knew what I had done
when suddenly the light went on.

And she stood there.
She could only stare.
There was chaos everywhere,
and my legs were bare.
There were flowers in my hair,
and I did not dare to begin to even try to half explain.

Well it’s not the way to start romance,
in just your socks and underpants,

‘W.C. Disco’ continued       2

with a flowerpot broken on your head,
your knees together and your face all red;
electric toothbrush, shower and fan
making all the noise they can.

I did not dare to catch her eye.
She looked around and gave a sigh.
But just before she turned away
this is what I heard her say,
“Perhaps I should have said before,
but the light switch is outside the door!”

Disco! Play it with emotion.
Disco! Play it with devotion. Yeah!