GUESS WHO! ( Words and Music by Paul F. Cowlan )

When George Orwell, with uncanny foresight, created Big Brother in �’, with more than a sidelong glance at Stalin, it’s unlikely he could have predicted vapid T.V. set-ups in which everyone desperately pretends that particpants pretending to live in a pretended ‘real life’ situation aren’t really pretending. Logically, the next stage must be to replace the human element with ‘virtual’ cyber-people, existing in a ‘virtual’ cyber-reality, so viewers can desperately pretend ..... etc. Come back Rin-Tin-Tin, all is forgiven!


Guess who’s watching from the world outside?
Guess who’s watching, with their brain in neutral?
Life’s too tough, and there’s no big jackpot.
Pay someone else to pretend.
Take a camera to the goldfish bowl,
and watch the little fishes in the goggle-box front room.
Stick a bunch of wallies in a ticky-tacky house,
and live with your ear to the wall.

Last week Darrel had an argument.
Shouted at Samantha ‘cos she didn’t do the housework.
But they get a bonus if they screw for the viewers.
So it’s hanky-panky high-jinks Friday!
Duncan is a tosser but he’s gonna be a star, since
everybody saw him sitting in an armchair.
Gonna have a hit with his own CD
though he can’t sing or play.

What about a cyberdoll, weight-watching dimwit,
super-cool dude from an analogue transfer?
One step better than the clots in a box
with their rattle-head dumbo show!
Capable of anything, touch screen sensitive,
interactive jerk with cerebral seizure,
bouncing up and down in his nineteen inches.
Nowhere for the bugger to go!

Guess who’s watching from a peaked-cap wasteland?
Guess who’s watching with the paunch and popcorn?
Hand over fist, and a nation of potatoes
making all the fat cats smile.
Welcome to the adverts, welcome to the big sell,
welcome to the way that we push into your bedroom.
This is what you want, ‘cause we keep on telling you.
Good kid, swallow it down!